Where's Your Head At?

I used to love this song, by Basement Jaxx, and it fits today's blogpost about Google turning 25! 

As I opened my Chrome browser, I saw Google's Doodle, celebrating its 25th anniversary! Wow, where did the time go? September 1998! So many memories passed by in the blink of an eye. I was getting ready to fly to university in another country, and with the internet - as the only tool back then, to communicate with my friends and family back home, I was always locked away in the computer lab at uni or in my dorms common area, trying to connect and chat with them through ICQ and MIRC at the time. I had created an email just a couple of months before I travelled, and my friend, Hesham Foda, helped me create it, from an internet cafe in Mohandeseen. I remember he helped me fill the 'security question' back then, which was 'Who is Your Favourite Band?' I still use this Hotmail address to this day, and I refuse to use Gmail which I created years after. 

It took me a while to realise that Foda could have been easily checking my email address (he denied this when I asked him many years ago haha), but back in the day, all you had to do was click on Forget Password and then the secret question would pop up, and when you write the answer (which was The Smashing Pumpkins), they give you instant access to the email without asking you to create a new password or anything. I know that because I personally hacked/tried to hack several email addresses of my friends back then - I guess we all did that at some point, no? 

My time in the UAE back then was filled with mixed emotions. Sometimes I missed everyone back home and sometimes I felt like I ruled the world. Being 15 years old, living alone, the youngest kid in university, a new country, etc. I felt like I was a different person all of a sudden. I remember not having a shisha around at the time, and I was addicted to shisha as you know (I hope no one is watching), and not having shisha resulted in joining the rest of the cult and smoking cigarettes. I remember the person who was selling cigarette packs back then at the dorms, for 7 Dirhams, each pack. The Egyptian Pound was stronger than the Dirham back then. My dad used to send me 1000 dirhams of pocket money a month. I was a rich kid in the eyes of those around me. I started smoking cigarettes regularly, at first, the pack used to last a couple of days, but then I started smoking a pack, then two packs daily. I used to spend my free time sitting behind a screen in the middle of the night while everyone sleeping to chat and smoke. I used to buy cigarettes for my friends, I think some people abused my generosity back then because I had enough money. I never thought about it until now, writing this, but paying for the cab and lunches was a common thing I used to do - trying to fit in with the crowd. 

I don't think I ever talked about this, but the first time I felt away from God, was during my final weeks there. I was always someone who prayed 5 times a day, no matter what I did, or where I went, I would always perform my prayers before I went to sleep. If I missed a prayer for any reason, I always made sure I would do it once I was back home (in my case was at the dorms), but there were days that I went to sleep without praying and I said to myself that I'll pray what I missed in the morning, then the morning came and I repeated the same excuse in my head. Even though this person was the total opposite of who I am, it still happened. I think coming back to Cairo the following summer (1999) - which was always my plan to return and be with my friends and family, is something I will always look back on and be thankful for, because thinking about it, I am not sure if being alone back then for the rest of my university years would have negatively impacted my personality and the person I was about to become. Not that I became someone fantastic by being here, I still had (and still have) my faults, but I just wasn't comfortable with my life away. It didn't feel real. 

I wasn't responsible back then, not that I was a responsible kid, not at all, but there were other kids around me who were also away from home, but they were responsible. I wasn't. I was a different Sherif there than the Sherif who was in Cairo a few months earlier. I wasn't in my own skin as they say. I didn't study, I believed that I was too smart and could easily pass my exams and get straight A's without putting in the effort. I was trying to fit in and wanted to impress. I used to hang with many people, the good ones, the bad seeds and the geeks, which has always been the case - I get along with probably everyone. I skipped classes, I skipped exams, both proactively and unintentionally. My time at AUS (American University of Sharjah) could be viewed as a failure, academically and personally, but I think, it taught me that people change very quickly and anyone is vulnerable. It taught me that slacking up is a recipe for disaster. It really taught me what peer pressure is like and how fitting in a new community could change people for the worse. 

I am going to be away for a few days as we have a long weekend here. Stay safe, be kind, and talk to you (I hope no one is watching) again on Sunday.