Where's Your Head At?

I used to love this song, by Basement Jaxx, and it fits today's blogpost about Google turning 25! 

As I opened my Chrome browser, I saw Google's Doodle, celebrating its 25th anniversary! Wow, where did the time go? September 1998! So many memories passed by in the blink of an eye. I was getting ready to fly to university in another country, and with the internet - as the only tool back then, to communicate with my friends and family back home, I was always locked away in the computer lab at uni or in my dorms common area, trying to connect and chat with them through ICQ and MIRC at the time. I had created an email just a couple of months before I travelled, and my friend, Hesham Foda, helped me create it, from an internet cafe in Mohandeseen. I remember he helped me fill the 'security question' back then, which was 'Who is Your Favourite Band?' I still use this Hotmail address to this day, and I refuse to use Gmail which I created years after. 

It took me a while to realise that Foda could have been easily checking my email address (he denied this when I asked him many years ago haha), but back in the day, all you had to do was click on Forget Password and then the secret question would pop up, and when you write the answer (which was The Smashing Pumpkins), they give you instant access to the email without asking you to create a new password or anything. I know that because I personally hacked/tried to hack several email addresses of my friends back then - I guess we all did that at some point, no? 

My time in the UAE back then was filled with mixed emotions. Sometimes I missed everyone back home and sometimes I felt like I ruled the world. Being 15 years old, living alone, the youngest kid in university, a new country, etc. I felt like I was a different person all of a sudden. I remember not having a shisha around at the time, and I was addicted to shisha as you know (I hope no one is watching), and not having shisha resulted in joining the rest of the cult and smoking cigarettes. I remember the person who was selling cigarette packs back then at the dorms, for 7 Dirhams, each pack. The Egyptian Pound was stronger than the Dirham back then. My dad used to send me 1000 dirhams of pocket money a month. I was a rich kid in the eyes of those around me. I started smoking cigarettes regularly, at first, the pack used to last a couple of days, but then I started smoking a pack, then two packs daily. I used to spend my free time sitting behind a screen in the middle of the night while everyone sleeping to chat and smoke. I used to buy cigarettes for my friends, I think some people abused my generosity back then because I had enough money. I never thought about it until now, writing this, but paying for the cab and lunches was a common thing I used to do - trying to fit in with the crowd. 

I don't think I ever talked about this, but the first time I felt away from God, was during my final weeks there. I was always someone who prayed 5 times a day, no matter what I did, or where I went, I would always perform my prayers before I went to sleep. If I missed a prayer for any reason, I always made sure I would do it once I was back home (in my case was at the dorms), but there were days that I went to sleep without praying and I said to myself that I'll pray what I missed in the morning, then the morning came and I repeated the same excuse in my head. Even though this person was the total opposite of who I am, it still happened. I think coming back to Cairo the following summer (1999) - which was always my plan to return and be with my friends and family, is something I will always look back on and be thankful for, because thinking about it, I am not sure if being alone back then for the rest of my university years would have negatively impacted my personality and the person I was about to become. Not that I became someone fantastic by being here, I still had (and still have) my faults, but I just wasn't comfortable with my life away. It didn't feel real. 

I wasn't responsible back then, not that I was a responsible kid, not at all, but there were other kids around me who were also away from home, but they were responsible. I wasn't. I was a different Sherif there than the Sherif who was in Cairo a few months earlier. I wasn't in my own skin as they say. I didn't study, I believed that I was too smart and could easily pass my exams and get straight A's without putting in the effort. I was trying to fit in and wanted to impress. I used to hang with many people, the good ones, the bad seeds and the geeks, which has always been the case - I get along with probably everyone. I skipped classes, I skipped exams, both proactively and unintentionally. My time at AUS (American University of Sharjah) could be viewed as a failure, academically and personally, but I think, it taught me that people change very quickly and anyone is vulnerable. It taught me that slacking up is a recipe for disaster. It really taught me what peer pressure is like and how fitting in a new community could change people for the worse. 

I am going to be away for a few days as we have a long weekend here. Stay safe, be kind, and talk to you (I hope no one is watching) again on Sunday. 

In a world of magnets and miracles.

The Division Bell.

Pink Floyd's 14th album studio album, and to me, their last album produced (I've never listened to The Endless River) will always stand out in my mind and life. The album was released in 1994 and my brother who was obsessed with Pink Floyd (and still is), was listening to it all the time. It was my first introduction to Pink Floyd, the band - without Roger Waters. I remember my brother owning different versions of the cassette and CD collection, then buying Pulse the live album, which was the talk of the entire world at the time. The album cover had a little bulb - yes a small bulb that kept blinking red light. I think it never stopped blinking for years. Even though Pink Floyd has been constant throughout my entire life this album will always be the first I list, and even though I first listened to it in 1994, it always reminds me of the 96/97 school year, as I was starting my IGCSE's and I used to constantly listen to this album while studying. The winter back then was way colder than the winter now. Days were shorter and nights were longer. I am getting goosebumps now while writing this because I keep remembering how cold it was. What Do You Want From Me, Marooned, Lost for Words and High Hopes are the songs I keep remembering. I don't think there is an album that reminds me of winter as much as this one. 

So just in case you're wondering (I hope no one is watching), I didn't write on Thursday as I had a full day outside the office, and yesterday, had a full day of meetings. After I finished meetings yesterday, I thought for a moment to stay in the office and write, but I wanted to beat the traffic and go home early. I think that the 'writing' habit is now in place and hopefully will be here for good, so it's ok if I miss the odd day here and there...the truth is, I am writing more than I ever was, and this is good because I am happy.

I am thinking of creating a website. Like having a domain www.WithMyName.com and linking this blog to it. It will need a total revamp, but then I can group blogposts by topic/interest or year. Or maybe I will just keep this blog as is. I don't know, and I won't really put much effort into it. 

The world needs more kindness. Have a lovely day!

Jeremy spoke in class today...

I am pretty amused with my new blogpost titles - they are by no means reflecting the current mood I am in while writing this, or the mood I am in today itself. I sing in my mind random songs and maybe because I am also wearing a Pearl Jam t-shirt today, hence, the title. It's the first time I've worn this shirt, and had ordered it online, specifically, once I laid my eyes on it. This song played a significant role in my childhood. As someone who was always fascinated with school shootings, I always wondered what made me attracted to them in the first place? I think it was this song, Jeremy, when it came out and that 'oh-so-very-weird' video of the song. Getting told the story by my elder bro and kids at the time, it was very dark. A kid went to class and stood up to shoot himself in the head? Why would anyone do that? It wasn't a 'school shooting' per se, but it still involved a kid and suicide! I always loved Pearl Jam's debut album and as I grew older with the introduction of the internet, I always tried to dig in to find out more about the reasons, why, the real Jeremy, shot himself. 

I strongly remember everyone gathered around the TV to watch CNN back in April 1999 when the Columbine High School shootings took place. Everyone talked about it for days! I was in university at the time away from home, living in the dorms, and it was the only thing my friends and I talked about. I remember reading that the two kids who performed that evil act were inspired by Pearl Jam's song. I always try digging for answers, and sometimes I can't find anything. Like I tried to watch videos of the two kids and read more about them, I always wanted to analyse their personalities and why they did what they did. Maybe I was supposed to be a behavioural psychologist, or an investigative journalist in another lifetime. 

A friend of mine (not really a friend, but someone I went to school with who was two years older than me) killed his mom. Yes, killed his mom. This guy was the most pleasant, friendly kid back in school. I remember he was so polite, played the guitar and laughed a lot. He was dating a girl, we, younger kids found her hot and were always saying he was lucky to be with her. I remember going on a camp trip with school to Siwa and he was sleeping beside me in the tent. This was like six or seven years before he killed his mom. When the news broke to us that he killed her, it was an absolute shock, not only to me but to everyone who knew him. I remember going crazy, trying to find anything about him. Calling everyone, going online (no Facebook at the time), and trying to search the web for anything. The reports at the time said he was a drug addict and needed his fix, and killed his mom when she refused to give him money. He not only killed her, but he put her body in the fridge, and it was his brother who found the body, days after, when he was worried he couldn't reach his mom and went home to check on her. Such tragedy. I haven't seen him or heard of him since school, so I didn't know what really happened to him, that transformation, or how was he like then, and I read a newspaper coverage (those yellow tabloids papers) who interviewed him in jail and he said he has no remorse about what happened. That story stayed with me for years, and until now, every now and then I try to go online and find out anything about him, but there is nothing. Our problem in Egypt is that if something happens, then it's gone forever after a few years. No public record of old newspapers online, it's like nothing happened. I heard he got a life sentence. Someone once said he talked to him on Facebook (while he was in jail). Another someone heard that his hot ex from high school had visited him. I think twenty, more or less, years, have passed by since. Will he come out of jail? How will life be for him, I wonder?

These days, I am constantly checking online and trying to dig for more details about Ramy, the Egyptian who killed two of his co-workers in California. His mother used to be an important figure here (Ex-Minister of Immigration and Egyptian Expatriates) and he is now being trialled in the States. All the sources claim that Ramy is sick and schizophrenic. I spent some time checking Ramy's Twitter account last year when this case happened, and there are some old posts where he talked about getting bullied as a kid and sexually molested. I guess we will never know if he really killed those people on purpose or if he is (was) really sick. Maybe we will. I just feel sorry for all the families who had to lose someone that way, a person getting vigorously and brutally murdered. 

Whenever I hear of a story like that, I always hum the last part of the song, trying to imitate Eddie Vedder's voice, which of course I always fail in, 'Jeremy spoke in...spoke in...Jeremy spoke in...spoke in...Jeremy spoke in class today...'

Cool kids never have the time...

I am back after a one-day hiatus! 

So, in case you (I doubt anyone is reading this and deep down I am happy) are wondering where was my blogpost yesterday or if Zeek has faltered again and couldn't keep up with his daily writing habit - you're wrong! Yesterday I was attending a full-day event, and my laptop was in the car. As I mentioned earlier in previous posts, my writing habit is linked to the office (or to the fact that I am sitting in front of my laptop). 

How was yesterday without writing? It felt OK. I didn't beat myself up because now I know that if something stops me from performing my daily routine, then it's not the end of the world. Here I am again, writing! Also, yesterday, at the conference, I had my notebook with me and I was doing several 'mind mapping' exercises to rewire my brain - thanks to both James Clear and BJ Fogg! These exercises are really liberating and so many ideas automatically flow naturally. I wish I had been introduced to it earlier. Like now I know why I can't do something or why I am convincing myself I can't, and vice versa, what I need to do to get to/accomplish something. I know, you're probably (again, I hope no one is reading) thinking I am crazy or having one of those philosophic trips, but really, those two books (Atomic Habits and Tiny Habits - the latter I haven't finished listening to yet) have been life-changing. 

I am starting to question everything. Things I have been doing. Things I wanted to do. Things I thought I wanted. Do I really want this? Do I really need this? Do I have to do this task in that way? And so on...I have been also re-watching my life in playback mode in my head, just to understand why I did certain actions and how I was living my life as a child, a teen, a student, etc.

For example, in all of my childhood memories, I always avoided fights. I never wanted to fight. I hated fights. I always wanted to smile and have fun. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I remember when we were kids, certain friends of mine would always talk about wanting to hit someone, or even hurt them, break their cars, and so on. I was never that person. No matter how much I was angry at someone, I never wanted to physically harm anyone. I shouted a lot, had fall-outs with people, and I was immediately upset with myself that 'this' happened. I have always wanted to apologise first, even if I held myself from doing so numerous times. I hate it when someone is upset with me. 

I go back in time in my mind and remember how much I loved writing. Not writing nice pieces of essays or perfectly worded English or Arabic, but just writing for the sake of writing. During exams, even in high school, I always asked for extra paper because I ran out of the ones handed to us on the day - one of the reasons I was told that it cost me getting A's during several subject courses in my IGCSE because if you answered more than what was expected of you then it actually deducts points from you. I was told during 2nd round of interviews that I spoke too much and delved into topics that were meaningless and it was the main reason I got rejected. When I tell stories, to my friends, colleagues or even to my wife, they always tell me to hurry up and not get into too many details. When online chatting became a thing in the late '90s, I could chat for hours, and, when telecom operators in Egypt launched the SMS feature on phones, in the summer of 2000 to be exact, I was always on my phone texting people for hours and hours without getting bored. I was told by some of my teachers in school and early managers during my corporate life that I have a talent. Those few people always inspired me to do what I do and not to scale down. When I launched my blog in 2006 I was writing and looking forward to writing even when I thought no one was watching (reading) at the time. I think when I started having an audience (even if it was a couple of friends), my writing changed. Instead of writing what I wanted to write, I started writing to impress. During that time and maybe a while before I had started freelancing with magazines (sports) and moderating online football forums; just writing writing and writing. I wasn't a writer by profession, but in my mind, I was one, and I liked to think of myself as that. Comments and likes impressed me and the attention got me hooked. My passion for writing was now more about impressing people - and for years, this was probably one of the reasons why I couldn't write what I wanted or what stopped me from writing because when the attention and likes declined and disappeared, I felt worthless for a while. Every now and then the spark gets ignited, whether to write a new blogpost, or the ambition of writing a book, or a screenplay, but then it fades again. That's why I am more comfortable writing now because I doubt that anyone is reading my blog. Also, I learned that I don't need to impress anyone. I remember in Grade 5 when I submitted my Arabic essay homework (which was more of a 'freedom of expression' assignment, i.e. descriptive writing) and the teacher made me read it out loud in class and students clapped. I was happy to get the recognition. Likes and attention have long been part of our upbringing even before the internet and likes/comments/emojis came into our lives. It's human nature to like attention, whether it is for our abilities or physical appearance. I think it hit me most when I stopped getting any attention (not for a particular reason) or when I saw others getting the attention that I thought I also deserved (or that I knew, or my fickle mind thought I could do the same like them - those who performed that task, whether doing something remarkable at work or appearing on TV, I asked, 'why not me?) More on that another day. I enjoy talking and writing. I cannot be sitting silently in a meeting room. Maybe that's why I enjoyed (or thought I did - but it's more like performed well) a career in corporate communications because it involves a lot of writing, from emails to documents, talking to clients, attending meetings, taking notes, etc. But I still feel limited. I write what they want to see/hear, I do what they want, not what I want. Maybe I am destined to have a side gig of writing/talking about what I want, whether that's a podcast, a novel or a screenplay or maybe it's just this blog. I will find out - I am sure I will because this self-realisation quest I am on is not stopping anytime soon, because, I believe there is a purpose I am yet to fulfil and there are bigger doors I need to unlock to achieve more happiness and dreams...dreams that willl make me whole and content...dreams that are meant for me and nobody else...dreams that will make me look back at my life, and say, yes, this is what I was destined to do. So, unless my time on this planet comes to an end, I will keep on going, and spreading happiness along the way, because just like reading, speaking and writing, I always made jokes, I was (still am) always loud, I love making people laugh and happy and feel good about themselves, regardless of who they are, I want everyone to be happy. 

Boss in Motion, the circular round-bottled perfume, by Hugo Boss, was launched in 2002. I was first introduced to it during my trip to Vienna that same summer. It was like nothing I had smelled before. I am a perfume addict and my wife/family would complain that I spend too much money on perfumes and I always finish them fast and spray too much. Scents, just like music (as explained in previous posts), transport me to places and elevate my feelings of happiness. I am wearing this perfume today and it was September 2002 when I first smelled it. Fast forward 21 years later, and several bottles bought along the way, it still gives me the same joy it did back in the day. The only difference is that I was walking on crutches back then after my surgery. 

Health is such a blessing, alhamdolelah. Thank you, God, for everything. 🙏💓

I wanna play a game...

 I have been binge-watching all the SAW movies lately just in anticipation of the new movie coming out at the end of this month. I was a big fan of SAW when it first came out and I remember going to watch SAW 2 and really liked it, however, I never watched except the first two films. Now, after watching 3, 4, and 5 and I am almost done with 6, I really have no explanation why I haven't watched the rest all of those years - especially since I really liked the first two movies and the concept behind it. 

But when I look back at my life, there are similar situations that I have no explanation for. When Lord of the Rings came out, my friends and I were obsessed. We went to the first show in the movies and had our tickets booked in advance, and kept talking a whole year about it, waiting for the 2nd part, and again the same hype happened. When Return of the King (part 3 and the final one) came out, I didn't watch it. I can't remember if I was travelling, or depressed, for not going to watch it. Going to the cinema has always been one of my life's joys. I love going to the cinema, and I love going to the movies alone, so why not that specific movie? I don't know. My friends call me the calendar because they claim I have a solid memory (it has gotten worse with age), but yes I do remember things, however, that part of my memory is totally blacked out. I don't remember why I didn't watch LOTR 3. And guess what? To this day, I didn't watch it. At first, it was more of a, 'how long will I resist,' but it's been so long. After we got married, Angie told me we would do a one-day marathon of watching all three movies. It never happened, despite that my wife and I spent many days at home, watching anything and everything. During COVID, my wife made me watch LOST - all seasons. We spent months watching it (and I LOVED IT), but I mean, we had the time to do so, all 6 seasons, 121 episodes, but, we never sat for 9 hours to watch the LOTR Trilogy, even though my wife is a HUGE fan. What's weirder is that I even watched The Hobbit film series, all three of them, and I have yet to watch Return of the King. 

When will the day come? When will I watch it? Will I do a one-day marathon by myself or with Angie?

Time will only tell. For now, it's all about SAW. 

Shazam!

I get amused easily. I get inspired easily too. If I like something I will become a serial advocate. I bought a Kindle in 2015 and it changed my life. It helped me read more and for years I was walking around with it, talking about it and convincing people to buy it. I may not use Kindle much now (at all really) but I am still a Kindle advocate. 

I downloaded Shazam ages ago and thought it was cool if you want to find out the name of a song off the radio, but I rarely used it. Before, and even now, if I don't have the phone in hand and hear a song I like, I will try to memorise a few words/lines and then whenever I am on my phone/computer, I will go to Google and write what I remember from the song, and on most times it would direct me to the song. However, there are two instances in which Shazam really helped me and I don't think I would have ever found out the name of the song without it. 

The first time was back in August 2019. My wife and I went to Almaza Bay to spend a couple of nights - it was our first getaway without our kid at the time (he was 11 months old). We were having dinner by the beach at this amazing place and I heard this song...A song that transcended that moment and took me to places, far away! I automatically opened Shazam to find out the name of the song, and voila, 'Johnny & Marry' by Todd Terje. It was a very mellow version of the original song, with the same name, by Robert Palmer. If it wasn't for Shazam, I would have Googled the lyrics to find out the original version, which is a totally different tempo/beat from this one, the one I had listened to on that amazing night. 

The second incident, happened yesterday, at the gym during my F45 class (I will definitely blog about F45) at some point and how it has been the best thing that happened to me in sports & fitness since my BootCamp days in 2012/2013. So, there is this song that puts me in the zone when it gets played and makes me want to go full-on and do maximum effort during cardio days. I thought, until yesterday, the song goes, 'Ooooh some days...' but because I am in class and running around, I never went to grab my phone to Shazam it, and never Googled it either. So anyway, yesterday, during class, the song came on, and I decided to get my phone and Shazam it, and it turned out to be called 'Sunny Days' - and again, an extended version of it. I just Googled now, 'oooh some days song' and couldn't find it - this put a smile on my face, that if it wasn't for Shazam, I would have never known. 

Thank you, Shazam!

Thursday is the new Friday?

I am loving Tiny Habits much more than I thought I would. I didn't think I could get captivated easily after Atomic Habits but so far Tiny Habits has been amazing. As much as both books and methods are interwoven they are completely different. I keep on thinking of my life now as little (tiny) habits one moment after the other. I keep on monitoring my existing habits and finding how easily certain things fall into place in my day and how subconsciously I do things. I've been experimenting with forming new habits - or reviving old ones like writing daily. For example, this is my 4th blogpost this week. When have I blogged 4 times in a week? Maybe never! I have found that writing in the office after completing certain work duties is simpler than I thought and not as hard as my mind convinced me in the past, hence why I blogged once every blue moon and kept delaying the inevitable - which is never writing. I could easily write here at my desk - but for example, I could never write at home, after I leave the office, or during the weekend. I can now completely fathom how my day operates and my 'work in progress' personal growth journey is in motion. 

Am I becoming too philosophic? Too boring? Too practical? Too old? I don't think of myself as any of those (maybe old yes - I am 40 now) but I am definitely trying to become a better version of myself. Do I miss old me? Do I miss spontaneous me? I really don't. Not that I was a bad person (maybe I was in the eyes of many), but I don't think I am any different from the Sherif of old. Not that I've become wiser - not at all - I am just adapting to my life in 2023 and making the best of it. I cannot live how I lived in the past like now. I can if I want to, but do I want that? Do I want to sleep after midnight and wake up not knowing what I have planned for my day? My life in 2023 is different than how it was in 2022 let alone 10 years ago. I want to be a great husband, father, son, brother, and employee and I want to achieve so much more. I want to go on and do great things in my life - things that won't necessarily be great in the eyes of everyone, but things that would make me - Sherif Zaki - happy and feel complete and accomplished. Your legacy is different than mine, and all I know is that I want to be happy and have peace of mind. 

I love Thursdays. You could feel the weekend vibes from the moment you enter the office. You know it's going to be a chill day. You're already making plans for tonight and the weekend - in my case, which pizza I will be ordering and more importantly when will I order it.

In the past, Fridays meant rest days - just relaxation, but with kids, Fridays and Saturdays are usually busy and full of activities. I guess I now prefer Thursdays more - it's more of a 'rest' day mentally, to me, vs. Friday.  

Have a lovely weekend - and catch up on Sunday!

Working from home.

Work from home, remote working, hybrid model, or teleworking as some people refer to is the best thing that ever happened to corporate life. I started working from home once a month when I was in Dubai; it was then that my previous employer, Golin, rolled out their 'WFH' policy of one day every month. I knew of people working from home since the early 2000's and I always envied them - it was time I joined the movement. At first, I was agitated, I felt something was missing, like a smoker without cigarettes, and I felt that I was underperforming. I was wrong. I realised that I am much more efficient, focused and creative when I am at home or 'outside' the office. 

When COVID-19 hit in 2020, everyone was suddenly working from home full-time, and if anything was good about Corona, then this was it. I actually worked more from home - that was the only downside. Being at home - every day - meant that you were not restricted to working hours or lunch breaks, and especially when everyone else was on board with you, it was like a never-ending work day. 

Now most companies, including the one I work for, apply a hybrid model. Right now, we have just one day per week (that doesn't include Sundays or Thursdays), and to be honest I am loving it. I wish we had more, 2 or 3 days would be best, but it's okay, I understand that many people never work from home and abuse the model, and as a company, you need to protect your business first and foremost. 

While writing this today, I remembered when I first blogged about WFH in 2006, it was one of the first blogposts I wrote - here. Reading this put a smile on my face. Would you have believed that this is the same person who is loving the concept now and raving about it? It's crazy how people can change their opinions about something, but it's also a sign that we are 'human', our thoughts change according to the situation we are in. 

So much has changed since 2006. What will I think 17 years from now? Will we be fully working from home, or at the office, or will robots do our job? Will I be around? 

Watch this space. 

All the Young Dudes!

I am always carried away and moved by great music. Great music doesn't necessarily mean The Smashing Pumpkins. It could be Pink Floyd, Take That, Bon Jovi, Metallica - basically whatever makes sense to me. We are all different and we react differently to things. Some songs will always move me whenever I listen to them. Some cliche songs like Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams or Hotel California by The Eagles will feel 'right' whenever I listen to them. Others like Purple Rain by Prince, Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead or '74-'75 by The Connells will remind me of a perfect childhood, winter nights and videogames.  

All the Young Dudes by David Bowie, which is originally by Mott The Hoople, is such a beautiful tune that makes me wonder about life, my friends, what happened to them, where the time went, how we ended up like this, what is next for us, etc.?

There are so many of my childhood friends whom I thought would become rockstars - not in the musical showbiz sense - but they had a larger-than-life aura, they were popular, admirable and widely loved during our youth. They disappeared! Literally! Like no one knows anything about them. Whether they have mellowed down, leading very quiet lives, are depressed, not interested or in other words, lost interest. Others on the other hand, those who led normal lives (by normal I mean they were not the boys who girls fought hard to date back then or the girls who everyone wanted to be with, but just normal kids) have become massive iconic figures now in our current lives.

I tried so hard in the past two decades to analyse that trend. Sometimes in my posts here, or just in my head; in conversations with myself, or with my close friends during our small gatherings, but I am still unable to crack the code. I don't think there is a code to break. I just think people eventually end up doing two things: 1) They become the people they always wanted to be but never had the freedom/choice to when they were kids. 2) They become the people the society or the community or the environment they live in want them to be. 

I had an idea years ago of creating a show (back then it was in the form of a one-on-one interview - but now it would be probably a podcast) where I host those unknowns to the world we live in today and talk about their experience, the paths they chose and the choices they made. Everyone knows the stars of today, but very few know the kings and queens of yesterday. 

I will call my show - All the Young Dudes.  

Staying on track!

So here I am again, sticking up with the habit of writing! I don't think I actually blogged twice in such a short span of time in years. Maybe before Dubai, or maybe before I got distracted with social media years and years ago. I first thought, until a few years ago, that social media was only limited to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the likes... I didn't count WhatsApp or LinkedIn as part of the 'social network of social media' if that makes sense.

My addiction to social media goes way back. I try to think of a time when I wasn't connected and it's a very distant memory. I remember when Facebook was introduced to Egypt circa 2006-2007, I was sitting in the office and 'connected' to Facebook all the time. I bought my first BlackBerry in 2008 at a time, that, yes, I was proudly announcing it back then, amongst a very few people in the country with one. I was working for the top comms agency in the region and even my boss and the GM at the time didn't own one. None of my friends did, none of my clients did. I used to sit with my friends smoking shisha and holding my precious phone in my hands, logging online to show them how cool and fast it is, and checking my mail - when no one was even emailing me. Back then, we didn't leave offices with our laptops (those of us who had ones) and there was no such thing as 'checking emails' after 5pm or on weekends because no one had access to work email anyway and no one had his work laptop/desktop at home with them. This was across all industries. With my BlackBerry (BB), I was always chatting to my friends in the UAE (who were more advanced than those of us in Egypt at the time) through the BlackBerry Messenger, commonly known as the BBM. It was the coolest thing at the time. A portable MSN (which everyone used at the time) with you, anytime and anywhere. I had very few people on BBM to talk to, and in just a year, more and more people have started buying BB's just for the 'chatting' purpose. The once-in-a-lifetime 'work' phone became the new trending gadget with students and teenagers grabbing their hands on it so they can chat on the go. No one was using SMS's anymore. I was hooked. I was constantly on my phone. Then came Twitter and this was a rollercoaster of false highs, I became a walking zombie. It affected my life, my relationships and mentally I was getting my fix from my phone and social media especially after I had quit smoking. I felt no progress in life and that's when I decided to boycott social media and make massive changes to my life. In the following few months with trial & error, I was able to start a new fitness regimen and meet my future wife.

Moving to Dubai in 2014 meant I needed social media to be connected, and that awakened the junkie within. The once-a-day WhatsApp messages became Facebook posts, followed by non-stop scrolling on Twitter and Instagram and so on. Again, with trial & error, I have managed to get off Facebook (my account is still there but I haven't logged in since 2015 or maybe 2016 - all I remember is that it was June). I unfollowed everyone on Twitter but still kept the account. I stopped logging on to Instagram. However, I didn't remove WhatsApp or LinkedIn. My social media time was divided into those two platforms only and that was more than enough. All the time at the office I had LinkedIn open. Whenever I got introduced to someone, whether face-to-face or virtually or even if I overheard someone with me at work talking about someone, I automatically 'LinkedIn' them' to see who they were, what they did, where they studied, what type of posts they wrote, or emojis they used to comment, and so on. I became a LinkedIn addict. 

A couple of years later, WhatsApp introduced their most addictive tool yet, or let's just say, the most addictive chatting platform I have personally witnessed since the MIRC of the 1990s and that is the WhatsApp Web. Who needs the phone anymore when you can automatically have a WhatsApp tab on your Google Chrome browser to notify you whenever you receive a new message? If before I had a reputation of being 'always' available, I have now become not only available but the first to respond, the first to send anything, to reply to anyone, to start a new group, to stir a conversation, to wind up people, etc. I've become online all the time and the moment I switched off the laptop, I continued my WhatsApp and LinkedIn addiction on the way back home and even from my couch/bed at home.

I started reading less, and I stopped writing completely, On here and on the movie script that I once fantasised about writing, I even watched TV less. I stopped watching football games with my eyes, I was just a person sitting in front of the TV but my head was down, of course, you guessed it, looking at my phone, scrolling through useless stuff. 

I have taken some measures in my life lately, not so extreme and not so subtle, but I am trying to mend those broken pieces. I realised that I constantly lost interest in projects I started or relapsed and wasted time and energy due to a problem in my behaviour design. This is going to be a journey of self-discovery, and self-progress. I know it will be a long journey but I am sure it's going to be an exciting one, too. 

It's never too late to make changes and become a better person, for yourself, your family and those around you.

One day at a time...

 Hello again! 

I am finally here. It took courage, or let's say, some sort of 'action', to sign in and log on here. It just hit me that the last blogpost was 2 years ago. Before, I didn't understand or comprehend the idea of not writing often, when it's one of the few things that makes me happy and comes easy to me. I always want to write, and I always delay writing. I keep convincing myself that I don't have enough time, that I will start tomorrow, or that I still don't know what should I be writing about. But I should know better. It's the same vicious circle every single time. 

So...what changed?

As much as I love writing, as much as I love reading, it pains me that I haven't been reading much. I used to love holding my Kindle and getting on the metro in Dubai to read or to curl up on the sofa at home when my wife went to sleep to switch on my Kindle and read, download new books, etc. Then I realised maybe because I drive in Cairo and I barely have time to read, I am constantly on the move, from one place to another, and when I finally get to sit down, whether it's at my son's practice or a soft play area, I always resolute to my phone, to chat or to watch a new episode (or more of the remaining episode of whatever Walking Dead spin-off I am watching), but then...I discovered Audible. 

That wasn't my first introduction to Audible, as I had downloaded No Rules Rules by the Netflix Founder early in 2021 just a few days before my interview with Netflix. I wanted to ace that interview and I knew I had no time to download the book and read it, so I thought maybe listening to it would be best to prepare. Even though I quite enjoyed my Audible experience back then, I cancelled my free trial before they charged me, and said to myself that I am, first and foremost, a reader. More than 2.5 years passed by since and I haven't read a single book! Shocking isn't it? The whole move to Egypt and adapting to the new life here with the kids, settling in a country that is 'home', all of which have been overwhelming. Less than 2 months ago, in July, I decided that I was fed up with listening to the same music I've been listening to on the way to and back to work, I am not really enjoying podcasts much, it doesn't give me enough 'thrills' or 'inspiration' to act upon, and above all, I've succumbed to the fact that I am truly addicted to my phone - something that I was always against and had tried to change for years and succeeded in parts of, like excluding social media, Facebook and Instagram in particular from my life, unfollowing people on Twitter, etc. However, lately, I've been reaching out to my phone just for anything and at any time. I am always on LinkedIn, reading what people I don't know are saying, and not feeling any happier, so I decided I would start another Audible free trial and instead of holding my phone, making calls or listening to music/podcasts while driving, I would start listening to books. The first book I listened to was, 'Start with Why', by Simon Sinek. I've always been a sucker for self-help books, but I didn't know what to expect when listening to one, and the journey started! The length of the book, which automatically shows once you start listening to one, was 7+ hours and seeing this was daunting, I didn't know what to expect. Will I finish this in a week or in a month? It took me roughly around 10 days to listen to the book, and I loved it. The book was good, but what I loved about Audible is that, while driving, I was fully focused and indulged in what the narrator was saying. I wasn't itching to make calls or reach out to grab my phone. On the contrary, I didn't want to receive calls or to pass/pick up any of my coworkers on the way to work. I just wanted to be alone with my book, the same feeling I used to get whenever I had a book/Kindle in my hands. I started getting excited every day to drive, something that I wasn't particularly in love with - if you drive in Cairo you would know. And the further the trips, the more I grinned. 

After 'Start with Why' came 'Smart Phone Dumb Phone' by Allen Carr, someone who, I will forever be grateful for helping me to quit my smoking addiction. I've always been a fan of his methods and The Easy Way, and I wanted to see how will he tackle digital addiction. The book really opened up my mind and made me realise what am I missing - LIFE! Just like smoking, it automatically transported my way of thinking and again, in less than two weeks I was done with the book and no longer looked at my smartphone the same way. 

Following that, I downloaded 'Atmoc Habits' by James Clear. Just finished the book yesterday, and I don't think I was ever attached to a book in recent years like this one. What an absolute gem of a book and what an absolute gem of a man, James is. I couldn't help but agree with him and found myself nodding and smiling a lot because I could relate to everything he was saying. Automatically after I finished the book, I downloaded 'Tiny Habits' by BJ Fogg, which is 11+ hours long - so far the longest book I have encountered in my short 2-month journey with Audible. 

All I can say is that I am really happy to be back here, and I don't think I would be here had I not started listening to books - so I am really grateful to Amazon for creating Audible. In less than 2 months I have finished 3 books - I don't think I have finished reading self-help books before at such pace. While listening to Amotic Habits, I realised that by being on Audible, I actually started applying Clear's strategy without even knowing. I started a habit that makes me happy (i.e. listening to books) while driving (existing habit) - which he referred to as 'habit-stacking'. I am also back to writing, again, thanks to him, and, also thanks to Tiny Habits, which I only started listening to yesterday. Even though they advised me to start small (2 minutes a day), I feel the rush of writing and I am letting it flow. I am going to incorporate writing into my routine and I don't want to commit myself to daily or weekly writing, but I will keep learning, growing, and on the way, tweaking my habits, abolishing bad ones, forming new ones, and mastering them along the way.