Tuesday, November 14, 2023

Mother do you think they'll drop the bomb?

Pink Floyd's music is so eerily amazing. It always reminds me of winter nights, in my old family apartment, where I first listened to them through my brother's old cassette tapes. I blogged recently about The Divison Bell in particular, but when I think of it, all of Pink Floyd's music takes me back to winter. 

I was chatting with an old friend a few days back; her mother, may she RIP, passed away last summer. My friend's mother's birthday falls on 11/11 and it has been a tradition for so many years now that on that day, every year, I send her a greeting message. I never forget this because my nieces were born on the same day, and one of my nieces also shares the same name as my friend's mother. This year is different for my friend as it's the first birthday without her mother being around. It's tough, and I know that for a fact after witnessing it with my father - 13 years now, and every year it feels different. My friend lost her dad a few years ago, and she told me, in her exact words, 'I don’t think one is supposed to get over losing their mother..it’s different from losing my dad.' 

It struck me hard. 

I've always been a mama's boy and after losing one parent, the thought of losing another is always on the back of your mind. I pray for my mother all the time. I want her to live forever. I guess we all want the ones we love to live forever, and I am sure we would all stand in front of a speeding van to save our mothers from getting hurt. I always want to please my mom, and make her happy, always. It's like no matter what I do feels enough. I don't want to ever feel that it's enough. I want to keep giving. I want to fight and till the day I die, try with all my powers to make my mom happy.

I think coming back to Egypt and being close to my family, especially my mother, has been the highlight of the previous two years. Being in the same city, even if sometimes a week or 10 days could pass without seeing her, still makes a big difference. I think I read somewhere (or listened to one of the audiobooks) that some people get immense satisfaction from helping/giving to others. Giving doesn't necessarily mean materialistic stuff, but giving support, time, energy etc. falls in that category as well. I think I am one of those people. I think making people happy, and especially my family is what motivates me and inspires me the most. 

I wish I could always make them happy. 

I pray for my friend every day to find the strength and cope without her mom being around. 

I love you, mom. 

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